career choices

i have recently decided to be a scientist. notice i didn't say "become" a scientist, i said "be" a scientist. that's because the cool thing about being a scientist is that all you have to do is declare yourself to be one. watch late night infomercials on anything from male enhancement to baldness, weight loss, six pack abs, memory loss , whatever and they always say "scientists recently confirmed or discovered or whatever, that their product works. there's gotta be money in that don't you figure? plus whenever i say my name and then add "scientist" it makes me sound smart and important. so next time you see me you don't have to call me Dr. or Mr. or anything as long as you say "scientist" .
Thanks,
Lloyd